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Don't Be Afraid to be Wrong Don't be afraid to be wrong. Because that's when you are going to do some of your best learning. Why am I afraid of being wrong is a question I asked myself some years ago. It took a fair bit of reflection to understand that at my core fear was worry about what other people may think of me, I was afraid to be embarrassed. I had to learn that the 'may' in that sentence meant I was making assumptions. Making assumptions is a habit that took me a long time to recognise and ditch. At the time I did something that was quite brave for me: I decided that instead of making assumptions, I'd ask people what they thought. Not only because I needed the reassurance that feedback brings, but because I was also genuinely interested in their thoughts and opinions. And more importantly, because I was learning that most of my assumptions turned out to be fictions, run-away figments of my imagination. Understanding what motivates me to hesitate in situations when I am afraid of being wrong is liberating. It's like opening a door to endless possibilities. I believe mistakes are simply learning opportunities. They're not happy or joyous learning opportunities, often they're frustrating, maddening, and annoying. I can be quite cranky when in the middle of it, but if I persevere with the 'mistakes are simply learning opportunities' attitude I regain some sense of balance and perspective and feel a lot better afterwards. It wasn't easy to learn how to do this, that's for sure, and it's a way of thinking I need to continue to be mindful about, especially when I'm tired or stressed. First of all, I've noticed I have to let go of the instant shame I was trained to feel as a child, as well overcome the deluge of negative talk that threatens to swamp me, another legacy of my childhood education and upbringing. And then I have to embrace what that negative self-talk calls 'error' or 'mess' or 'disaster' as a platform on which great things, new discoveries, awesome possibilities might develop... Challenging the meaning of words and how we use them has helped me make this shift. It helped me to ditch the word 'wrong' from my vocabulary. Especially as an educating parent, helping my children build confidence in their natural learning ability. I started to use 'inaccurate', or 'inappropriate' or simply say, 'it doesn't work', or carefully select words which say exactly I what I mean. I believe learning to be more precise with my choice of words, weeding out vague 'weasel words' that could mean anything (such as 'good' and 'bad') was key to maintaining the momentum of changing this fear of being wrong into seeing it for what it is, an opportunity for growth and learning. Was this article helpful? Was it worth $1.00 to you? Your gift of $1 or more helps to keep this site operating offering encouragement and reassurance to families wanting better outcomes for their children. Beverley Paine with her children, and their home educated children, relaxing at home. Together with the support of my family, my aim is to help parents educate their children in stress-free, nurturing environments. In addition to building and maintaing this website, I continue to create and manage local and national home educating networks, help to organise conferences and camps, as well as write for, edit and produce newsletters, resource directories and magazines. I am an active supporter of national, state, regional and local home education groups.
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and Learning without School! We began educating our children in 1985, when our eldest was five. In truth, we had helped them learn what they need to learn since they were born. I am a passionate advocate of allowing children to learn unhindered by unnecessary stress and competition, meeting developmental needs in ways that suit their individual learning styles and preferences. Ours was a homeschooling, unschooling and natural learning family! There are hundreds of articles on this site to help you build confidence as a home educating family. We hope that your home educating adventure is as satisfying as ours was! Beverley Paine
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